♬ All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to…♬

Lyrics and Music by: Phillip John Hanseroth, recorded by Brandi Carlile.

This is another wonderful guest post by Beth Flynn of the OSU Leadership Center on leadership and relationships. This post speaks to developing leadership by cultivating relationships.

1. Process situations relationally. Develop the habit of evaluating situations from a relational perspective.

2. Practice presence in your conversations. Be totally present in your conversations. Avoid thinking forward to the next task or next conversation.

3. Develop a story with everyone you meet. Every relationship has its own special history. Make sure you review this and plan constructively.

4. Cultivate relational intelligence. Be aware of what others are thinking and feeling.

5. Find ways of closing the parity gap. Subtle power of differentials – physical, financial, reputational- can be at place and make a powerful impact on a relationship without you being aware of it.

6. Gather information about others and retain it. Deliberately broaden your knowledge of other people or organizations.

7. Think from the other side. Ensure that your conversations with others are mutually beneficial and that both sides have incentive to continue the relationship and profit from it.

8. Take time to plan your day relationally. Take a few minutes every morning to think over who you are going to meet and how that meeting will build that relationship.

9. Do a relational evaluation. At the end of the day, take a few moments to review what’s happened in your relationships.

10. Value relationships above everything else. The reality is that we do value relationships above everything. The challenge for most of us is to keep it in mind in the crucible of commercial competition.

From: Schluter, M. & Lee, D.J. (2009). The relational manager: transform your workplace and your life. Oxford, England: Lion Books. p. 176-178.

The Relational Manager is available on loan from the Ohio State University Leadership Center. Click here to borrow this resource or any other resource. Then click on the Spectrum icon.

Learn how the Ohio State University Leadership Center is inspiring others to take a leadership role that empowers the world.

Thanks Beth for reminding us that to be effective leaders, we need to stop talking, take a moment and listen to the stories of those who are meaningful to us.